0373011318 (R) Read online

She deserved it.

  That was not the Reece Castle she remembered but, then again, seven years was a long time ago and she’d changed too.

  “Well, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting my new doctor,” Gary Trainer said, flashing her a smile which was charming and probably just a bit dangerous to all those rabid fans.

  Vivian took his outstretched hand and gave it a squeeze, doing her own little test. Gary squeezed back, or he tried, but there wasn’t any strength to his grip, the muscles were rigid and there was a tremble. Slight, but it was there.

  Maybe someone not trained wouldn’t notice it, but Vivian did.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Trainer. I look forward to working with your present medical team.” She glanced up quickly at Reece, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was scrolling through the chart on the computer tablet.

  Avoidance. She knew it well. He didn’t like to be the center of attention; he didn’t like awkward situations. He avoided them at all costs. He might have told her to be strong and speak out, but he didn’t do the same for himself. He didn’t like the spotlight or change.

  His appearance had changed, but Reece was still the same.

  * * *

  Reece knew that she was looking at him and he didn’t care one bit.

  Liar.

  He couldn’t believe it was her. He’d known that a diagnostician with a neurosurgery background was being flown in from Germany, but it had never occurred to him that it would be Vivian. And now, looking at her, Reece wasn’t even sure he recognized her. In seven years she’d gone from a shy, cold, detached woman to one with confidence exuding from her pores.

  Or arrogance.

  Her unruly red hair was swept back and tamed in a bun. She was polished, wearing designer clothes, but, as he stared into her green eyes, the costume couldn’t hide from him that girl who’d grown up on the wrong side of the tracks was there still.

  The woman who preferred blue jeans and running barefoot through the grass.

  The woman he’d fallen in love with. This facade just reminded him that version of Vivian he loved was gone and this Vivian was a stranger. It pained him to be around her.

  When they’d been residents together, she’d constantly talked about working with Dr. Mannheim. It had been her dream, not his, but he’d foolishly thought that love would keep her here, that she wouldn’t go. She’d planned to leave Nashville far behind her. Still, Reece wasn’t the only one who built up walls. He was closed off, but Vivian ran from her problems.

  The morning he’d rolled over and found her note had crushed him. Vivian had left, and hadn’t asked him to go with her. What made it worse was the engagement ring he’d bought for her—the one he had to return the next day—because the morning she’d left was when he was going to open up to her. Tell her everything. Things he didn’t tell anyone.

  If she had asked him to go, he would’ve gone with her.

  Only you wouldn’t have.

  Germany was not what he wanted.

  At least that was what he’d told himself to justify her leaving. To make himself believe that was the only reason why she hadn’t asked him and why he wouldn’t have gone.

  Only he’d been lying to himself. He might’ve gone, but he was never given the choice. The fact was that she hadn’t wanted him to go with her. Plain and simple.

  It still stung, even after all this time.

  She’d been his best friend. The one person he’d opened up to. The only person who’d been able to get through his walls—and look what happened. She’d left.

  He’d learned his lesson well.

  He wasn’t going to make that same mistake twice. People didn’t get second chances, if what happened between him and his father was anything to go by.

  “Well, shoot, you’re just a sight for sore eyes,” Gary said, smiling again. “No offense, Dr. Castle, but I do get tired of looking at your ugly mug every day.”

  Reece chuckled, his residents snickering behind him. When he glanced up at Vivian there was a pink tinge to her cheeks. Vivian was never the one for compliments. She used to think compliments could be confused as a form of weakness or she still didn’t think she deserved them. Only the compliments were valid. She was beautiful. He’d forgotten how much so. His memories didn’t do justice to her.

  He’d forgotten about how coppery her hair was in certain lights, how green her eyes were. Like emeralds. The subtle smattering of freckles across her nose against her creamy white skin.

  She was tall. Elegant.

  Sexy as hell still.

  She broke your heart.

  He had to keep reminding himself of that. Under all that soft beauty she was just as hardened as he was.

  When he’d met her she was shy and timid, but always closed off, but then he’d fallen in love with her. Completely—to the point he didn’t have to hide who he was. He’d adored her and he’d foolishly thought she felt the same. Good thing he didn’t tell her who he really was... Love wasn’t strong enough to keep her. He should’ve known better, given who his mother was. Women couldn’t be trusted.

  He knew Vivian came from a very different world to the one which he had grown up in. She was just as secretive about her past as he was and they hadn’t talked much about their childhood, other than he knew they’d both raised themselves and didn’t have much of one. Then again, who needed talk when they had sex?

  Now, seven years later, he couldn’t remember why they’d been friends or what they had in common, but they’d been drawn to each other. They’d clung to each other, both starved of love perhaps? He’d let his guard down around her.

  “I appreciate the sentiment, Gary.” Then he briefly shared a quick glance with Vivian. “You’re right about Dr. Maguire being easier on the eyes.”

  Vivian’s blush deepened and the smile disappeared. She was clearly uncomfortable and he was treading on dangerous ground. That was the last thing he needed, to bandy words with Vivian here in front of his patient and residents. He had to work with her and he was professional. Besides, there was nothing left to say. It was all in the past.

  Is it?

  “Well, I better make myself better acquainted with the neurosurgical staff and find my office. It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Trainer.”

  “Gary please, Dr. Maguire.”

  “Gary, then.” She shook his hand and glanced up at Reece. “Dr. Castle, I’ll speak with you later, I’m sure.”

  Reece didn’t answer; he just nodded quickly. He watched her walk out the door, feeling slightly guilty about how cold he’d been to her.

  She’s the competition.

  He had to remind himself that, even if he wasn’t particularly interested in going after Dr. Brigham’s job, he hadn’t worked all these years pouring his blood, sweat, soul and tears into the neuro program at Cumberland Mills to have someone like Vivian waltz in and take it over. She had to prove herself to him. He had Dr. Brigham’s ear. And if she wanted to run the surgical program she had to prove to him and everyone else she was here for the long haul.

  Vivian had left for greener pastures years ago. Back then she didn’t see Cumberland Mills as much. Just a stepping stone. Reece really knew what this hospital was about. He didn’t know why she was back other than to take Dr. Brigham’s job.

  Your job.

  He shook that thought away. He’d been offered the job but he didn’t want it. He didn’t need it and didn’t want to live up to Dr. Brigham’s reputation. Some shadows were too big to step out of and Reece’s dad had made it clear time and time again he didn’t have what it took. It wasn’t his job, nor was it hers.

  Vivian’s return to Nashville was just a blip. An annoyance. She was not a threat, she was not competition and definitely she was no longer a temptation.

  Keep telling yourself that.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “WELL, I NEVER thought I’d see your face here again.”

  Startled, Vivian glanced up to see Reece standing in the door of her office, his
arms crossed and leaning casually against the doorjamb. Those dark eyes were trained on her, but the sparkle he once shared with her was gone. Still, he was just as handsome as ever. Something about him made her heart beat just a bit faster. She’d thought that being apart from him would dissipate the attraction she’d always had for him. She was wrong.

  So wrong.

  Which was probably why any relationship she’d had since had been fleeting and not worth a second glance because now, staring at Reece, she knew no man could ever affect her the way Reece had.

  She hadn’t heard him come into her office but, then again, he always had a way of sneaking up on her, or nurses, or doctors. As if he moved at the edge of the shadows, unnoticed until he wanted to be seen.

  When she’d asked him about it once he’d said offhandedly he’d learned to do that as a child, but never really elaborated further on that. Of course, Reece never did elaborate much on his past. She only knew he was from Nashville. That was it. And she never went on about her past. All he knew was she grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and he didn’t. Though he’d never specified and that was the way they wanted it.

  “Past is past, Vivian. Let’s focus on the now.”

  “Neither did I,” she answered, folding her hands on the desk in front of her as if that would help protect her from him. “I am surprised to see you’re still here...”

  “Well, I wasn’t offered a chance to study under Dr. Mannheim.” There was a hint of bitterness to his voice, but really she wasn’t surprised. Over the years working as Dr. Mannheim’s protégée she’d dealt with a lot of people who were envious of her position.

  People who also voiced their opinions that she didn’t deserve it.

  That she didn’t earn it.

  That she’d slept her way in, but none of that was true. They would know it wasn’t true if they met Dr. Mannheim’s life partner.

  Still, there was always an undercurrent of jealousy. Working with Dr. Mannheim had been a huge honor and she wasn’t sorry for taking it. She’d needed to get away from Nashville. She had to protect her heart.

  “You could’ve had a similar opportunity, but you never pursued anything. In fact I’m surprised to see you still here. I thought you would’ve moved away. Find a greener pasture for your surgical skill to flourish.”

  Reece’s eyes narrowed. “I was needed here. I never wanted to leave Nashville. As I recall, you were the one who was ready to leave this place at a moment’s notice. Greener pastures never impressed me much.”

  “I didn’t come back here to argue with you,” Vivian said. “I don’t regret leaving. I came here to work.”

  His expression was like thunder and she instantly regretted her words. Reece shut the door and then took a seat in the one and only chair that didn’t have a ton of papers or a box on it.

  “Of course. You’re right, Vivian. Whether we like it or not, we’re working together on this. Past is past. Let’s focus on the now and our patient.”

  She nodded, relieved but also disappointed...

  What was that about?

  She was here to work, not dredge up the past. Coming back home to Nashville was bad enough; she didn’t need old feelings getting in the way.

  “So why don’t we get to work, then?” she asked.

  “Sure,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “What would you like to talk about?”

  “Why don’t you fill me in on Mr. Trainer’s case?”

  “Signs and symptoms point to Parkinson’s, but...”

  “His test came back negative, I take it?”

  Reece nodded. “Yes, even though really it’s too soon to tell and hard to diagnose Parkinson’s in the early stages.”

  “Do you know when the symptoms first started? Has he given you a history?”

  Reece nodded. “He did and the symptoms only started out of the blue the other day when he collapsed on stage. That was two days ago.”

  “Sudden onset?” she asked, confused, as the thousands of possibilities swirled in her brain.

  “Yes. He collapsed during a performance with what looked like an epileptic seizure. As you can tell from his MRI.” Reece handed her a computer pad, an MRI on the screen. “It’s clear of epileptic seizure activity.”

  Vivian stared at the MRI, instantly assessing the images in front of her, like she’d done a thousand times before. Like she’d done about three months ago when her mother’s MRI showed up in her inbox and she could see the clear markers for early onset Alzheimer’s.

  “Don’t you worry about me, baby girl. You stay in Germany. Finish your trial. Your work is important.”

  It was the tone which had scared her. The shake in her mother’s voice behind the facade of happiness. The same tone she’d used that terrible night Vivian had found her mother bleeding on the kitchen floor. So even though her mother had said she was okay, Vivian knew she wasn’t.

  Vivian owed it to her mother to come back home. Her mom had been her only constant in her life. She had sacrificed so much so Vivian could create a future for herself—so she didn’t have to rely on someone else. That was what her mom had always said. In other words, a life where she didn’t have to rely on a man.

  “You don’t need a man, Vivian. You’re smart, talented. Don’t let anyone hold you back.”

  Her mom’s words had made her decide to go to Germany in the first place. She had wavered over it and for one brief moment she’d thought about putting down roots with Reece. Her mother had changed her mind.

  She was very well aware that her mother’s singing career had been held back by her father. A father who couldn’t even be bothered to stick around. Her mother gave up a huge contract because Vivian’s father had been jealous of his wife’s success and then when he was offered a gig he was gone.

  And that was the last they saw of him and their savings.

  She couldn’t leave her mother high and dry. She couldn’t let her mother, who had early onset Alzheimer’s, live out the rest of her life in a rundown facility while she was halfway across the world.

  Vivian might be cutthroat when it came to her career, but she loved her mother. Loved her enough to come back to Nashville.

  “Vivian, you okay?”

  She shook her head, chasing those thoughts away. “Sorry?”

  “You zoned out. I thought perhaps you saw something I might’ve missed,” Reece said, a hint of concern in his voice. She didn’t deserve him. Never had.

  “No, sorry. Jet lag.” She passed the tablet back to Reece. “I think I would like another MRI done and an EEG monitor for a forty-eight hour period. Perhaps we can force a seizure in a controlled and monitored environment.”

  Reece nodded. “Sounds good, but how do you propose we do that when we don’t know what triggered it?”

  “You said he had a seizure on stage at the concert, right?”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “How about we start with flashing lights, dark room and loud music?”

  A small grin crept across Reece’s face. It was good to see him smile. “Good thinking. I’ll get my team of residents on it.”

  “Thanks. I’m glad you have the team of residents so readily at your disposal.” It was so easy to talk to him about medicine. She’d forgotten. It was how they’d first connected. How he’d gotten through her defenses.

  “Well, all the surgeons do. It’s just I’ve been using them more often for my Alzheimer’s trial study.”

  Vivian perked up. “Alzheimer’s study?”

  Reece nodded. “Yes, I have a trial running now with some medication therapy and electrotherapy with EEG monitoring for brain activity. I just started it.”

  “Have you found all your participants?” Vivian asked.

  Reece frowned and cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you so interested?”

  “Don’t get on the defensive. Alzheimer’s is not my specialty. I was merely making conversation.”

  Reece stared at her in disbelief, but then relaxed. “Yes, my trial is currently full
. There is a large pool of people suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s who are more than willing to participate.”

  Vivian tried not to show her disappointment, but really it was to be expected. Alzheimer’s trials filled up quickly.

  “So not interested in Alzheimer’s, but here to take Dr. Brigham’s job?” he asked.

  The question caught her off guard. “Who told you that?”

  “I’m not obtuse, Vivian. I know that’s why you’ve come back to Nashville. Why else would you leave Mannheim’s practice?”

  “For your information, I outgrew Mannheim’s practice. I wanted to branch out and expand my horizons further. Start my own trial, perhaps, and I couldn’t do that in Munich.”

  “Why Nashville?”

  “Why does it matter?” Vivian snapped. She didn’t want him to know about her mother. No one needed to know that, but really if her mother hadn’t been so sick she wouldn’t have come back.

  “It matters. So, why Nashville?”

  “Why not?”

  “Only because you were so hell-bent on leaving. You left like a thief in the night. I don’t even remember getting to say goodbye. All I got was a note.”

  She saw the anger in him. The hurt. She couldn’t blame him. She knew leaving like that would hurt him. It was a burden that she had to bear to protect herself.

  The one time he’d really opened up ever, just after their first time, he said words which stuck with her to this day.

  “I’ve lived a life of constant change. I want permanence. I want roots. Roots here in Nashville.”

  He wanted something she didn’t and couldn’t give him.

  “I thought past was in the past? Focus on the now, remember?”

  Reece stood up, his expression hard and cold. His jaw clenched tight. “Right. You’re right.”

  “I’m sorry my coming back is hard on you, Dr. Castle, but I’m here to stay and we have to work together so I suggest we make the best of it.”

  “Fine.” Only she had a feeling it wasn’t.

  “Fine,” she said.

  “It’s not like you’ll be here that long anyways,” he snapped.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” It was like a slap to the face. Reminding her again that she’d left him behind, making her feel the guilt more keenly than ever.